Muhammad's 2 days to 2 months old

His weight increased to 1.45kg last week, but after edema (which made he look so big, with swollen eye, face and limbs- I hardly recognized him) resolved, it left 1.35kg, and the latest, 2 days ago was 1.38kg.

He was extubated 4 days ago, put on CPAP... I was sooo happy and couldn't wait to cuddle him. (Walaupun sedih tengok Muhammad terseksa dengan tiub merodok hidung dia, dan asyik menangis dan meronta tanpa suara je). However, after 2 days, he looked tachypnoic, with all the accessory muscle seen during breathing and several episodes of apnoea (not breathing at all). Oxygen saturation went crazy. Maybe due to his chronic lung disease that made him difficult to get off the tube.

He was reintubated yesterday. I felt so down. And scared..... what if he need oxygen support the whole life?? Ya Allah...janganlah. And tomorrow Muhammad pediatrician want to see us the parents to discuss the longterm plan? (what does it means? and I hesitate to asked her because I need my hubby's support before hearing it.)

Ya Allah.. bantulah hamba Mu ini... sembuhkanlah Muhammad, wahai Tuhan yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Pengasihani.