.jpg)
2 days ago was Damia's birthday.
She's turning 5 and has learnt a lot! Alhamdulillah,such a bright girl.
I noted since 2 months ago, she can read.. malay and english. And can do simple math! She can read malay story books fluently, alhamdulillah and several common english vocabs... thanks to starfall.com, peterandjane book and read easy book.
She's hardworking. Going to school is fun for her. And she loove reading and writing and doing origami!
She's a quick learner. By teaching once substract method, she can do it correctly. She also can easily recognize the road to her previous school, danish's home and etc. Dah pandai tekan last called number untuk call ayah dia, tok wan , tokku, ciksu, Tok ayah... haish, abis kredit umi.
She's a good sister. Always remember her little brother a lot even though she only saw him a few times only in Nicu. When we go shopping, she always thought of him. When she has some cookies or sweet, she'll spare some for him. Soo sweet!
And..she's bossy..hehe. Isn't it natural for the first child?
Happy 5th birthday my little girl. Ayah and umi want the best out of you... dunya and Akhirah. amin.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Anniversary 1606
HAPPY 6th ANNINERSARY my dearest. Thank you for standing by my side all this time, during up and down..
love you. Forever.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Day 45
Alhamdulillah..Muhammad catch up fast, 1.35kg. Nampak besar dan tembam dah, compared masa mula2 lahir. Dah cheeky.. dan pandai senyum! =) i'm so happy and releived.
A few good things happen, Inhaled nitrogen oxide for PPHN already off. Replaced with syr Sildenafil. Oxygen pun nampak stabil sikit. Jarang2 skali baru desaturate. Few days ago, he developed generalized edema. Check serum albumin, 28g/dl je, tak de la low sangat. Tapi transfuse albumin jugak, sebab memang gross edema, dengan scrotum swollen, ascites, semua lah. Legs dia 2 x ganda .. memang nampak besar sungguh Muhammad. Terkejut masa tengok 2 hari lepas... 2 x check nama takut tersilap incubator anak org lain..hheh.. alhamdulillah, Muhammad size dah back to normal. Nosocomial infection pun under control. Nampak aktif sikit.
Still on ventilator. Oxygen low setting ...30%. Mudah2an tak lama lagi boleh tukar kepada CPAP. Mudah2an lungs dia kuat, dan later on boleh off oxygen. Amin
Damia' dah habis periksa hari ni..hihi.,. kelakar pulak budak tadika periksa. Cikgu dia complain Damia' ni sama je exam ngan tak exam, asyik main2, kacau kawan.. hihi. Biasa la kan, budak2... takkan nak serius ...pelik pulak nanti, matured sangat..hehe. Sibuk nak beli hadiah Hari Guru untuk cikgu.... buat kad, dan balut hadiah sendiri untuk cikgu kelas dia. Yang kelakarnya, kad untuk makcik tukang masak pun ada.. bila cakap, makcik tu bukan cikgu.. katanya "Tak pe la, Damia' sayang CikNa..". Such a thoughtful.
Nampak sangat dia happy, less moody... mungkin sebab aku dah boleh tumpu kat dia, hantar ambik dia ke tadika. Start balik baca bedtime story.. Seronok sungguh dia. Mudah2an menjadi anak yang solehah, dan kakak yang baik... dan no more hot temper! ngee...
Ya Allah.. jadikan kami hambaMu yang sentiasa bersyukur..amin.
P/s: bila boleh nak transfer gambar dari hp ni?
A few good things happen, Inhaled nitrogen oxide for PPHN already off. Replaced with syr Sildenafil. Oxygen pun nampak stabil sikit. Jarang2 skali baru desaturate. Few days ago, he developed generalized edema. Check serum albumin, 28g/dl je, tak de la low sangat. Tapi transfuse albumin jugak, sebab memang gross edema, dengan scrotum swollen, ascites, semua lah. Legs dia 2 x ganda .. memang nampak besar sungguh Muhammad. Terkejut masa tengok 2 hari lepas... 2 x check nama takut tersilap incubator anak org lain..hheh.. alhamdulillah, Muhammad size dah back to normal. Nosocomial infection pun under control. Nampak aktif sikit.
Still on ventilator. Oxygen low setting ...30%. Mudah2an tak lama lagi boleh tukar kepada CPAP. Mudah2an lungs dia kuat, dan later on boleh off oxygen. Amin
Damia' dah habis periksa hari ni..hihi.,. kelakar pulak budak tadika periksa. Cikgu dia complain Damia' ni sama je exam ngan tak exam, asyik main2, kacau kawan.. hihi. Biasa la kan, budak2... takkan nak serius ...pelik pulak nanti, matured sangat..hehe. Sibuk nak beli hadiah Hari Guru untuk cikgu.... buat kad, dan balut hadiah sendiri untuk cikgu kelas dia. Yang kelakarnya, kad untuk makcik tukang masak pun ada.. bila cakap, makcik tu bukan cikgu.. katanya "Tak pe la, Damia' sayang CikNa..". Such a thoughtful.
Nampak sangat dia happy, less moody... mungkin sebab aku dah boleh tumpu kat dia, hantar ambik dia ke tadika. Start balik baca bedtime story.. Seronok sungguh dia. Mudah2an menjadi anak yang solehah, dan kakak yang baik... dan no more hot temper! ngee...
Ya Allah.. jadikan kami hambaMu yang sentiasa bersyukur..amin.
P/s: bila boleh nak transfer gambar dari hp ni?
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Adoi laaa!
Saya menderita saluran susu tersumbat (obstructed breastmilk duct ) dan ianya sangat sakit (walaupun tak sesakit bengkak susu (breast engorgement) dan jangkitan susu (mastitis) ). Dan production susu pun kurang. Kalau bangun pagi, yang sebelah normal boleh dapat sampai 200ml, yang sebelah sakit hanya 100ml saja. Bengkak, demam kejap. Production ada, tapi tak keluar... macam mana niii??
Relieving Blocked Milk Ducts from Breastfeeding -- powered by ehow
What is a plugged milk duct?
If you're making milk faster
than it's getting expressed, it can get backed up in the duct. When this
happens, the tissue around the duct may become swollen and inflamed and
press on the duct, causing a blockage.
The first sign of a
plugged duct may be a small, hard lump that's sore to the touch or a
very tender spot in your breast. Some women also notice redness on their
breast. The area may feel hot or swollen, but may feel better after
nursing.
If you feel achy, run down, and feverish, it could be a
sign that your clogged duct has become infected. (Left untreated, a
plugged duct can evolve into mastitis, so don't ignore the symptoms.)
What causes plugged ducts?
Blocked
ducts can happen if your breasts are not getting completely drained of
milk on a regular basis. Some common situations that may lead to this
are:
- Your baby is having trouble feeding for some reason, such as an improper latch, or isn't feeding often enough.
- You're using a pump that's not powerful enough.
- You've abruptly weaned your baby.
- A duct becomes compressed or damaged, due to pressure from a nursing bra that doesn't fit well or from sleeping on your stomach, for example. This may trap milk inside a duct.
- You have an illness such as a cold. Illness may cause you to not want to feed your baby as often or pump as frequently.
- You're under stress. Stress lowers your body's production of oxytocin, the hormone that causes your breasts to release milk.
You've
had surgery, such as a breast biopsy. The area that was operated on may
interfere with milk drainage and cause a blocked duct.
What should I do?
Nurse,
nurse, nurse! It may be painful to nurse on the affected side, but
frequent nursing is crucial to completely empty the breast, which will
make you more comfortable and reduce inflammation.
If it's not too
painful, nurse on the side with the clogged duct first, because your
baby sucks strongest at the beginning and that may help dislodge the
plug. If your baby doesn't want to nurse enough to empty the breast on
that side, use a breast pump or hand express the milk.
Experts
also recommend that you massage the sore area frequently and firmly,
starting at the outside of the breast and working your way toward the
nipple. Applying warm compresses before nursing can help open the ducts
and relieve pain and swelling.
Vary your nursing position. For example, if you use the cradle hold, try the football hold or nurse lying down. This will help make sure that all of the ducts are drained.
Vary your nursing position. For example, if you use the cradle hold, try the football hold or nurse lying down. This will help make sure that all of the ducts are drained.
Also,
many women swear by this trick: Position the baby at your breast with
his chin pointed toward the sore spot. Then have him latch on and begin
nursing. This directs suction at the plugged duct.
Taking
ibuprofen may help relieve pain and inflammation. Ask your doctor or
lactation consultant before taking any remedies while you're
breastfeeding, though, even if they're the over-the-counter variety. You
might also want to check out our breast milk interactions chart.
Next to nursing, the most important thing is rest. This may seem difficult or impossible with a baby to care for, especially if you have other children, but it's an important element of recovery.
Next to nursing, the most important thing is rest. This may seem difficult or impossible with a baby to care for, especially if you have other children, but it's an important element of recovery.
To get a bit
more shut-eye, consider keeping your baby with you in bed. Put a stash
of things you'll need nearby, such as diapers, toys, books, and water,
to minimize trips out of bed. If possible, ask someone to help you for a
few hours a day so you can get some sleep.
Also eat nutritious foods to boost your immune system, and drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated.
To
help with discomfort, some moms rely on cold packs while others prefer a
heating pad. See which provides you with the best relief.
Once
the duct is unplugged, the area may still be red or feel tender for a
week or so, but any hard lumps will be gone and it won't hurt as much to
nurse.
To help prevent future plugged ducts, avoid long stretches
between feedings. And make sure your nursing bras fit well and don't
have underwires, which can compress milk ducts.
Will clogged milk ducts affect my baby?
Sometimes
your milk flow on the affected side may be slower than usual, and your
baby may become fussy when nursing on that breast. But it won't hurt
your baby to nurse while you have a clogged duct. And the antibacterial
properties of breast milk will keep your baby safe from bacteria, even
if you develop an infection.
Can I still nurse?
Yes. It's the best way to get the duct unclogged.
What if home remedies don't work?
If
you continue to feel pain after trying rest, heat, massage, and
frequent nursing for 24 hours, call your healthcare provider. Call right
away if you develop a fever at any time, because this may mean that you
have an infection that requires medication.
Relieving Blocked Milk Ducts from Breastfeeding -- powered by ehow
Day 38
Muhammad dah 1.1kg!! Alhamdulillahh... mudah2an Allah panjangkan umurnya, dan sihat tubuh badan dan akal fikirannya.
Masih on ventilator, masih ada masalah PPHN dan chronic lung disease.. tapi menurut paediatrician tu, kalau tengok keadaan dia, nampak imroving. Harap2 tak lama lagi dapat extubate, insyaAllah.
Sekarang Damia' pulak yang bermasalah. Mungkin selalu kena tinggal (Sebab saya ke hospital), sering terabai dan tak banyak habiskan masa bersama dia, nampak moody dan terlebih sensitif aje. Kesian Damia'.
Sampaikan exam hari ni pun tak cakap. Rupa2nya dalam beg dia, cikgu dia dah bagi jadual periksa utk dia. Sejak dalam pantang ni, sibuk dengan berurut/bertungku dan berulang alik ke hospital, tak sempat nak check beg dia..
Iqra'/muqaddam pun tak sempat nak ajar. Maafkan umi Damia'..
Nanti dah habis pantang ni, boleh tumpu lebih sikit kat dia. Nampak gayanya susah sikit nak pergi hospital dengan lebih kerap
Masih on ventilator, masih ada masalah PPHN dan chronic lung disease.. tapi menurut paediatrician tu, kalau tengok keadaan dia, nampak imroving. Harap2 tak lama lagi dapat extubate, insyaAllah.
Sekarang Damia' pulak yang bermasalah. Mungkin selalu kena tinggal (Sebab saya ke hospital), sering terabai dan tak banyak habiskan masa bersama dia, nampak moody dan terlebih sensitif aje. Kesian Damia'.
Sampaikan exam hari ni pun tak cakap. Rupa2nya dalam beg dia, cikgu dia dah bagi jadual periksa utk dia. Sejak dalam pantang ni, sibuk dengan berurut/bertungku dan berulang alik ke hospital, tak sempat nak check beg dia..
Iqra'/muqaddam pun tak sempat nak ajar. Maafkan umi Damia'..
Nanti dah habis pantang ni, boleh tumpu lebih sikit kat dia. Nampak gayanya susah sikit nak pergi hospital dengan lebih kerap
Sunday, May 6, 2012
FOBIA hari ke 14
Today Muhammad is 1 month old. His name was taken after Muhammad Rasulullah, a simple but strong name. May he is also a strong willed, kuat semangat untuk hidup, dan untuk Islam...sepertimana kuatnya semangat Rasulullah, berjuang untuk Islam.
Suatu ketika dahulu... kisah hari ke 14
I lived a miserable day the first 2 weeks.
Masih fobia dengan kehilangan Aisyah Humairah pada hari ke 14. Kehilangan Zainab nungkin tak sefobia kehilangan Aisyah, sebab kehilangan Zainab dah dijangka. Beberapa jam selepas kelahiran zainab, paediatrician dah bagi poor prognosis sebab ada huge bleeding dekat brain dia- intraventricular hemorrhage.
Tapi Aisyah, lepas few days intubated, she did well, extubated, and was send to SCN. Suatu hari, pada hari ke 14, visit dia di SCN pada siang hari .. memang nampak spO2 (oxygen level) turun naik, tapi based on m.o incharge, it was still within normal range bagi baby premature. Malamnya, dapat panggilan. 2 x. Pertama, kata baby tak stabil...oxygen desaturate. Yang kedua, kata baby kritikal. Bila sampai di NICU, ramai tengah resus...lepas berapa ketika, the doctors discuss whether to let go or continue CPR, but, there's no respond. My husband chose to let go in peace. Sempat pegang, riba dan dukung dia for the first and the last. Cause of death was sepsis.
That's why I'm so miserable. Dont want to talk about my baby Muhammad... dont want to expect too much, but dont want to lose hope either. For they said, if mother is strong, so is the baby. Thank you so much for my husband.. taking leave for another week..
Bila specialist kata nak jumpa dan discuss pasal Muhammad, the first thing came in my mind.. did she want to break the bad news? Poor prognosis? Tapi rupanya tidak... mujurlah.She did tell few complications that he may have... PDA, renal failure, lung hypoplasia.... tapi cara dia explain tu macam santai, so tak rasa serius sangat. Boleh reversible lagi. Dan aku berdoa agar complications tu reversible, dan assumption yang specialist buat tu semua salah. The paediatrician said, take it one day at a time... and there we are, one day at a time. And Muhammad also get through all the problems one day at a time
Minggu pertama, Muhammad did well. Jaundice teruk dan left foot ada laceration, alhamdulillah, tak melarat. Healed well. Jaundice pun bertahan...kejap double phototherapy, kejap single phototherapy, kejap double photo with reflection (extra power..) tapi alhamdulillah, tak kena Exchanged Transfusion.
After 1 week, Muhammad developed lung infections. And in the chest xray, there was features of chronic lung disease... due to underdeveloped lungs. Dengar perkataan infection, risau tak habis2. Takut2 sepsis lagi. Alhamdulillah, infections controlled with antibiotics.
Dah lepas 14 hari, kami dah boleh tersenyum sedikit. Tapi masih ada masalah. Muhammad masih ventilated.
PDA closed, renal pun improving now. Sekarang sPO2 fluctuate, oxygen level turun naik. Treat as GERD (reflux disease).. lungs pulak masih ada PPHN dan chronic lung disease. Tak dapat off ventilator. My specialist nak bagi dexamethasone, tapi nak tunggu weight naik lagi. Mudah2an lepas bagi dexa, lungs Muhammad kuat sikit dan jadi lebih elok.
After 2nd week, kaki kiri pulak bermasalah. Swollen, redden, 4th and 5th toes bluish. Mungkin kena vessels masa needle prick, mungkin juga macam assumption paediatrician tu, infection emboli. Aku dah fikir macam2... macam mana kalau gangrene, kena amputate? Risau lagi. Doa tak putus. Alhamdulillah after few days, bengkak tu surut, and less bluish, less reddish.
Alhamdulillah. hari ni hari ke 30. Walaupun tak dapat menarik nafas lega lagi, bersyukur sangat berat Muhammad dah naik 1.1kg, feeding dah naik 10cc, dan Muhammad masih ada bersama kami 30 hari. Kadang2 nampak aktif, kadang2 banyak tidur dan merisaukan kami.
Minta maaf umi abah, siblings, relatives and friends, I feel difficult to tell about Muhammad current conditions... unless he is fully healthy, then it is easy. Aku mahu cerita yang baik2 saja tentang Muhammad... kerana aku mahu endingnya baik. Mudah2an.
Suatu ketika dahulu... kisah hari ke 14
I lived a miserable day the first 2 weeks.
Masih fobia dengan kehilangan Aisyah Humairah pada hari ke 14. Kehilangan Zainab nungkin tak sefobia kehilangan Aisyah, sebab kehilangan Zainab dah dijangka. Beberapa jam selepas kelahiran zainab, paediatrician dah bagi poor prognosis sebab ada huge bleeding dekat brain dia- intraventricular hemorrhage.
Tapi Aisyah, lepas few days intubated, she did well, extubated, and was send to SCN. Suatu hari, pada hari ke 14, visit dia di SCN pada siang hari .. memang nampak spO2 (oxygen level) turun naik, tapi based on m.o incharge, it was still within normal range bagi baby premature. Malamnya, dapat panggilan. 2 x. Pertama, kata baby tak stabil...oxygen desaturate. Yang kedua, kata baby kritikal. Bila sampai di NICU, ramai tengah resus...lepas berapa ketika, the doctors discuss whether to let go or continue CPR, but, there's no respond. My husband chose to let go in peace. Sempat pegang, riba dan dukung dia for the first and the last. Cause of death was sepsis.
That's why I'm so miserable. Dont want to talk about my baby Muhammad... dont want to expect too much, but dont want to lose hope either. For they said, if mother is strong, so is the baby. Thank you so much for my husband.. taking leave for another week..
Bila specialist kata nak jumpa dan discuss pasal Muhammad, the first thing came in my mind.. did she want to break the bad news? Poor prognosis? Tapi rupanya tidak... mujurlah.She did tell few complications that he may have... PDA, renal failure, lung hypoplasia.... tapi cara dia explain tu macam santai, so tak rasa serius sangat. Boleh reversible lagi. Dan aku berdoa agar complications tu reversible, dan assumption yang specialist buat tu semua salah. The paediatrician said, take it one day at a time... and there we are, one day at a time. And Muhammad also get through all the problems one day at a time
Minggu pertama, Muhammad did well. Jaundice teruk dan left foot ada laceration, alhamdulillah, tak melarat. Healed well. Jaundice pun bertahan...kejap double phototherapy, kejap single phototherapy, kejap double photo with reflection (extra power..) tapi alhamdulillah, tak kena Exchanged Transfusion.
After 1 week, Muhammad developed lung infections. And in the chest xray, there was features of chronic lung disease... due to underdeveloped lungs. Dengar perkataan infection, risau tak habis2. Takut2 sepsis lagi. Alhamdulillah, infections controlled with antibiotics.
Dah lepas 14 hari, kami dah boleh tersenyum sedikit. Tapi masih ada masalah. Muhammad masih ventilated.
PDA closed, renal pun improving now. Sekarang sPO2 fluctuate, oxygen level turun naik. Treat as GERD (reflux disease).. lungs pulak masih ada PPHN dan chronic lung disease. Tak dapat off ventilator. My specialist nak bagi dexamethasone, tapi nak tunggu weight naik lagi. Mudah2an lepas bagi dexa, lungs Muhammad kuat sikit dan jadi lebih elok.
After 2nd week, kaki kiri pulak bermasalah. Swollen, redden, 4th and 5th toes bluish. Mungkin kena vessels masa needle prick, mungkin juga macam assumption paediatrician tu, infection emboli. Aku dah fikir macam2... macam mana kalau gangrene, kena amputate? Risau lagi. Doa tak putus. Alhamdulillah after few days, bengkak tu surut, and less bluish, less reddish.
Alhamdulillah. hari ni hari ke 30. Walaupun tak dapat menarik nafas lega lagi, bersyukur sangat berat Muhammad dah naik 1.1kg, feeding dah naik 10cc, dan Muhammad masih ada bersama kami 30 hari. Kadang2 nampak aktif, kadang2 banyak tidur dan merisaukan kami.
Minta maaf umi abah, siblings, relatives and friends, I feel difficult to tell about Muhammad current conditions... unless he is fully healthy, then it is easy. Aku mahu cerita yang baik2 saja tentang Muhammad... kerana aku mahu endingnya baik. Mudah2an.
THE AMAZING OF BREAST MILK
Hari ke2 kelahiran, aku room in di husm. Nasib baik ada my hubby yang proaktif.. bookingkan bilik di husm. 3 hari saja di sana. 4x sehari pegi tengok baby. Kesian Damia' terabai sekejap. My hubby pun nomad sana sini.. tak cukup rehat juga. Thank you dear, for being there for me.
Niat di hati untuk beri full breast feeding. Kalau ikutkan, memang tak de langsung breastmilk yang keluar. Selama 3 hari di bilik ibu tu, memang keje aku, kalau tak gi tengok baby, aku akan EBM.. manual aje. Hari first tak buat EBM lagi
Hari ke2 kelahiran hanya dapat 1ml. Aku buat 4-7jam sekali aje. Rasa frustrated jugak. Makan kurma yang dibeli time aku pregnant ari tu.. makan dan makan. Minum susu. Tengah hari tu dah start feeding baby. My hubby kata tak pe, sebab biasa start dengan 1ml je tiap kali.
Malam aku tak dapat tidur. Mungkin sebab panas... jiran sebelah katil pulak tak mahu bukak kipas atau aircond sebab takut anak dia sejuk. Dah la sekarang musim panas...berpeluh2. Aku pun paham, orang lain ada baby kat sebelah..mostly sebab jaundice, maka baby tak berbaju. Aku sorang je anak kat NICU. Mungkin juga tak dapat tidur sebab teringat kat baby... macam tak percaya! I have my baby..! Yang disangka takkan survive...
Malam nya, aku dapat panggilan dari NICU...yang tepatnya, dari my collegue yang amik master paeds dan oncall pada malam tu. Macam nak tercabut jantung bila dapat panggilan tu. Aku memang fobia dapat panggilan dari NICU, sebab akan terbayang balik masa Aisyah Humaira' dan Zainab Humaira' dulu...bila dapat panggilan, maksudnya, bad news. Baby in critical state. Masa Aisyah hari tu, lagi la... lepas dapat panggilan, dan aku tiba di hospital, baby dah nazak, dan passed away tak berapa lama lepas tu. Sebab tu, sangat2 takut dapat panggilan NICu. Nak masuk tengok kat NICU pun sama... aku akan intai dulu, kalau2 ramai doktor atau nurse berkumpul kat katil dia. Itu maksudnya baby in critical state..dan aku amat fobia. Alhamdulillah, setiap kali aku intai, tak de yang berkerumun di incubator Muhammad.
Breastmilk yang aku beri tu juga sangat2 membantu Muhammad untuk kurangkan jaundice dia. Alhamdulillah, hari ke hari, production bertambah.. Tapi selepas berapa lama...rasa malas dan demotivated...rasa penat, sakit belakang. production pun makin kurang. Atas nasihat mereka2 yang expert in breastfeeding, kena buat EBM 2 jam sekali sebab baby tak dapat directfeeding ( sama banyak dengan feeding kat NICU, 2 hourly)... jadi after 1 week, lepas survey2 online breastpump, I bought medela fs.. and it really helpful, walaupun mahal sket...
Syukur, Muhammad tolerate breastfeeding well. Lepas 1 week, berat naik from 780g to 930 g. Then after another week turun 900g, but after 3rd week pickup again 990g. Alhamdulillah now, he is 1 month old and weighed 1.1kg
iS IT A MIRACLE OR ANOTHER SAME STORY??
UNEXPECTED BIRTH, UNEXPECTED WEIGHT, UNEXPECTEDLY TO SURVIVE..
2 April 2012 @ 24 wk ++
OnG appt. Still bleeding and ? leaking (because it's blood stain..red in colour, but the more I drink, I think the more it come out). Still oligo, AFI (amniotic fluid level) almost none. No other way, said the doctor..just drink a lot of fluid. I had drank a LOT... almost 4 litre per day. Ye.. saya sukat.
Umi and abah juga tak jemu2 berdoa, amikkan air solat hajat...
9 April 7.00 am @ 25 week ++ POG
Macam biasa, pagi2, kalut dengan Damia' nak pergi sekolah, hubby nak pergi kerja.
Terasa ada contraction kat lower abdomen, tapi cuba untuk abaikan. Sebabnya, asyik ada irregular contraction aje since 17-18 week. Biasa ada 2-3 kali, then settled. Tapi kali ni macam banyak kali je. Isk... rasa tak sedap hati. Tak dapat nak goodbye Damia' macam biasa bila dia nak ke sekolah... aku cepat2 masuk ke bilik, lie down and tried to count the contraction duration.
Masa tu mild je.. one in 10-15 minutes. Cuba ikhtiar dengan minum dan sapu segala air hajat, doa yang ambik dengan ustaz2 sebelum tu. (Dah hospital tak dapat buat apa, ikhtiar lah kot lain plak....usaha sehabis daya). Sampai kul 8, tak berenti lagi contraction tu. Niat dalam hati, cuba kira lagi, kalau persistent sampai kul 9, nak pegi labour room. Walaupun harapan untuk baby aku diselamatkan sangat tipis (25week, dengan estimated delivery last week hanya 500g (dalam 1 week, paling2 naik 100g je), memang biasanya tak akan buat apa2... maksudnya, tak akan tocolyse contraction ( lebih2 lagi ada leaking), dan baby pun biasanya tak letak under ventilator. 500gram tu cukup2 untuk kata birth (kelahiran) bukan abortion (keguguran). Tak de sapa akan berusaha untuk selamatkan dia). Hati aku sangat takut... akan jadi seperti yang dahulu kah??
Dalam hati tak putus2 berdoa.. Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau keluarkan anak dalam kandungan ini lagi sebelum cukup sempurna sifatnya, cukup beratnya.. jangan keluarkan dia lagi hari ni ya Allah..
Kul 8 lebih tu my youngest sister Ajun masuk bilik, cerita pasal novel terbaru Fatimah Syarha... sempat lagi berdiskusi nak beli novel. Tapi, rasa contraction makin kuat. Ya Allah.. aku khabarkan kat ajun, then ajun pergi sampaikan kat umi. Umi datang dengan muka risau. Datang sapu2 abdomen aku dengan air solat hajat, mudah2an berenti contraction. Hampir kul 10, contraction masih begitu jugak. Aku ajak umi pergi hospital, labour room. Kalau dah berterusan begini, takut2 bersalin kat rumah... apa2 hal, kat sana ada paediatrician. Walaupun terpikir nak cuba bersalin kat tempat yang ada better neonatal support, tapi, disebabkan antenatally under my specialist follow up (senang nak cerita), dan dah tak sempat nak pegi mana2 tempat yang jauh, maka pergi la jugak kat hospital yang sama.
10.45am, govt hospital
Umi hantarkan. My hubby tengah buat morning ward round. Ramainya orang... ish. Resah gelisah.. contraction makin kuat, tapi rasa macam tak makin kerap. YaAllah.. I need my hubby around, tapi kebetulan masa tu takde m.o lain, terpaksalah dia habiskan round sorang2. Prayed for him to come ASAP. (Alhamdulillah masa ni dia dah transfer ke KB..baru 1 month)
Kul 11.15am aku mintak staffnurse inject dexa dulu..takut2 bersalin cepat. Masa tu labour room sangat hectic..
Later on my collegue datang. Os open 3cm. Scan done, still breeach as before, estimated birth weight 580g (as expected). Pastu my collegue mengkhabarkan berita yang tak best didengar.. takde ventilator di area KB dan HKT! Aku rasa separuh harapanku musnah... air mata mengalir sendiri. Ya Allah, jangan keluarkan lagi anakku hari ni. Aku sms kat umi yang sedang berada diluar Labour room, dan juga kepada my hubby.. I said, memang kalau keluar jugak, xkan survive... dengan estimated weight hanya 580g, lagi pulak takde ventilator. Tambah2 breech..high risk untuk dapat intraventricular hemorrhage (pendarahan dalan otak). Umi kata, umi akan doakan supaya baby tak keluar lagi. Tapi, aku rasa macam tipis je harapan tu..sebab makin lama duk atas examination bed tu, makin sakit.
Lebih kurang kul 12, I was pushed into a room. Alhamdulillah, tak lama lepas tu my hubby datang.I can't bear to experience another premature birth alone.
Contraction makin kuat, rasanya masa tu dah 2 in 10 minute. Ya Allah. Lepas dapat injection IM Nubain, alhamdulillah tahan sikit rasa sakit tu. Ingatkan contraction akan resolved.. Tapi bila staff nurse time the contraction, it was already incresed to 3 in 10 minutes.
Aku tengah terpikir2, macam mana nak solat zohor ni. Masa tu dah pukul 1 lebih, rasanya macam dah masuk Zohor. Ingat nak turun solat kat bilik staff, tapi disebabkan contraction dah 3 in 10, staff nurse nasihatkan jangan turun katil. Lagipun, I didnt think I could walk at the moment.Walaupun contraction tu rasa kurang sikit, tapi kat lower abdomen dan perineum tu berterusan rasa sakit dan kebas. So my hubby mintak besen dgn air untuk amik wudhu' dan bersihkan diri. Tapi, bila aku try nak duduk, Ya Allah, sakitnya kat perineum tu. Rasa macam dia punya presenting part dah ada kat situ agaknya, tapi tak de pulak rasa nak push... agaknya sebab kecik sangat kot. Tak boleh nak duduk 90 degree upright langsung.
Bila aku baring balik, barulah rasa nak push. Dan bila check VE, memang sah fully. M.O yang attend siap kata, memang takkan buat apa2 kalau baby keluar 580g. Aku pasrah aje. So, dengan sekali push saja, alhamdulillah baby keluar pukul 1.45 ptg.. Dan it's a boy. Apgar score paeds tulis, 5 7. Tak nangis. Yang menangis hanyalah aku. Air mata laju saja.. dalam hati memang terdetik... anak aku memang tak de harapan. Ya Allah, aku dah tak larat dengan ujian ini (astaghfirullah..).
Alhamdulillah. placenta kali ni, tak seperti yg lepas2, mudah saja keluar. Selang beberapa minit, my hubby pergi tengok baby, and he came back with good news... ALHAmdulillah! Lepas timbang, baby weight's 800gram!! and intubated! syukur yaAllah... Dia kurniakan pula ventilator untuk anak kami kat husm. I was sooo happy I didn't even feel tired after giving birth as before (ataukah sebab banyak makan kurma pagi tadi?). Langsung tak rasa nak tido. Even sampai ke malam pun dalam wad, susah nak tido, dan sangat awal aku bangun.
Kul 7.30 malam baru dapat masuk wad. Damia dah menunggu dengan happynya bersama ajun dan abah. Umi dah penat tunggu aku lepas bersalin tadi. Terima kasih umi... kasih umi tak terbalas. Damia' sangat seronok tengok aku.. siap keluarkan bekal yang abah bawak untuk makan bersama... (oh, anak ummi dah besar. Teringat masa lahirkan Aisyah dan Zainab, dia masih kecik dan tak secerdik ni).. Sekarang dia dah pandai tanya adik dia. Mintak tidur di hospital jugak sebab nak tengok adik...
Esoknya, specialist yang follow up aku buat round kat wad tu dan terkejut tengok aku dah bersalin. Jadi, dia bagi aku balik awal ..yey! Kul 11.30 my hubby datang ambik. Nak balik tgk baby kat husm pulak..
2 April 2012 @ 24 wk ++
OnG appt. Still bleeding and ? leaking (because it's blood stain..red in colour, but the more I drink, I think the more it come out). Still oligo, AFI (amniotic fluid level) almost none. No other way, said the doctor..just drink a lot of fluid. I had drank a LOT... almost 4 litre per day. Ye.. saya sukat.
Umi and abah juga tak jemu2 berdoa, amikkan air solat hajat...
9 April 7.00 am @ 25 week ++ POG
Macam biasa, pagi2, kalut dengan Damia' nak pergi sekolah, hubby nak pergi kerja.
Terasa ada contraction kat lower abdomen, tapi cuba untuk abaikan. Sebabnya, asyik ada irregular contraction aje since 17-18 week. Biasa ada 2-3 kali, then settled. Tapi kali ni macam banyak kali je. Isk... rasa tak sedap hati. Tak dapat nak goodbye Damia' macam biasa bila dia nak ke sekolah... aku cepat2 masuk ke bilik, lie down and tried to count the contraction duration.
Masa tu mild je.. one in 10-15 minutes. Cuba ikhtiar dengan minum dan sapu segala air hajat, doa yang ambik dengan ustaz2 sebelum tu. (Dah hospital tak dapat buat apa, ikhtiar lah kot lain plak....usaha sehabis daya). Sampai kul 8, tak berenti lagi contraction tu. Niat dalam hati, cuba kira lagi, kalau persistent sampai kul 9, nak pegi labour room. Walaupun harapan untuk baby aku diselamatkan sangat tipis (25week, dengan estimated delivery last week hanya 500g (dalam 1 week, paling2 naik 100g je), memang biasanya tak akan buat apa2... maksudnya, tak akan tocolyse contraction ( lebih2 lagi ada leaking), dan baby pun biasanya tak letak under ventilator. 500gram tu cukup2 untuk kata birth (kelahiran) bukan abortion (keguguran). Tak de sapa akan berusaha untuk selamatkan dia). Hati aku sangat takut... akan jadi seperti yang dahulu kah??
Dalam hati tak putus2 berdoa.. Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau keluarkan anak dalam kandungan ini lagi sebelum cukup sempurna sifatnya, cukup beratnya.. jangan keluarkan dia lagi hari ni ya Allah..
Kul 8 lebih tu my youngest sister Ajun masuk bilik, cerita pasal novel terbaru Fatimah Syarha... sempat lagi berdiskusi nak beli novel. Tapi, rasa contraction makin kuat. Ya Allah.. aku khabarkan kat ajun, then ajun pergi sampaikan kat umi. Umi datang dengan muka risau. Datang sapu2 abdomen aku dengan air solat hajat, mudah2an berenti contraction. Hampir kul 10, contraction masih begitu jugak. Aku ajak umi pergi hospital, labour room. Kalau dah berterusan begini, takut2 bersalin kat rumah... apa2 hal, kat sana ada paediatrician. Walaupun terpikir nak cuba bersalin kat tempat yang ada better neonatal support, tapi, disebabkan antenatally under my specialist follow up (senang nak cerita), dan dah tak sempat nak pegi mana2 tempat yang jauh, maka pergi la jugak kat hospital yang sama.
10.45am, govt hospital
Umi hantarkan. My hubby tengah buat morning ward round. Ramainya orang... ish. Resah gelisah.. contraction makin kuat, tapi rasa macam tak makin kerap. YaAllah.. I need my hubby around, tapi kebetulan masa tu takde m.o lain, terpaksalah dia habiskan round sorang2. Prayed for him to come ASAP. (Alhamdulillah masa ni dia dah transfer ke KB..baru 1 month)
Kul 11.15am aku mintak staffnurse inject dexa dulu..takut2 bersalin cepat. Masa tu labour room sangat hectic..
Later on my collegue datang. Os open 3cm. Scan done, still breeach as before, estimated birth weight 580g (as expected). Pastu my collegue mengkhabarkan berita yang tak best didengar.. takde ventilator di area KB dan HKT! Aku rasa separuh harapanku musnah... air mata mengalir sendiri. Ya Allah, jangan keluarkan lagi anakku hari ni. Aku sms kat umi yang sedang berada diluar Labour room, dan juga kepada my hubby.. I said, memang kalau keluar jugak, xkan survive... dengan estimated weight hanya 580g, lagi pulak takde ventilator. Tambah2 breech..high risk untuk dapat intraventricular hemorrhage (pendarahan dalan otak). Umi kata, umi akan doakan supaya baby tak keluar lagi. Tapi, aku rasa macam tipis je harapan tu..sebab makin lama duk atas examination bed tu, makin sakit.
Lebih kurang kul 12, I was pushed into a room. Alhamdulillah, tak lama lepas tu my hubby datang.I can't bear to experience another premature birth alone.
Contraction makin kuat, rasanya masa tu dah 2 in 10 minute. Ya Allah. Lepas dapat injection IM Nubain, alhamdulillah tahan sikit rasa sakit tu. Ingatkan contraction akan resolved.. Tapi bila staff nurse time the contraction, it was already incresed to 3 in 10 minutes.
Aku tengah terpikir2, macam mana nak solat zohor ni. Masa tu dah pukul 1 lebih, rasanya macam dah masuk Zohor. Ingat nak turun solat kat bilik staff, tapi disebabkan contraction dah 3 in 10, staff nurse nasihatkan jangan turun katil. Lagipun, I didnt think I could walk at the moment.Walaupun contraction tu rasa kurang sikit, tapi kat lower abdomen dan perineum tu berterusan rasa sakit dan kebas. So my hubby mintak besen dgn air untuk amik wudhu' dan bersihkan diri. Tapi, bila aku try nak duduk, Ya Allah, sakitnya kat perineum tu. Rasa macam dia punya presenting part dah ada kat situ agaknya, tapi tak de pulak rasa nak push... agaknya sebab kecik sangat kot. Tak boleh nak duduk 90 degree upright langsung.
Bila aku baring balik, barulah rasa nak push. Dan bila check VE, memang sah fully. M.O yang attend siap kata, memang takkan buat apa2 kalau baby keluar 580g. Aku pasrah aje. So, dengan sekali push saja, alhamdulillah baby keluar pukul 1.45 ptg.. Dan it's a boy. Apgar score paeds tulis, 5 7. Tak nangis. Yang menangis hanyalah aku. Air mata laju saja.. dalam hati memang terdetik... anak aku memang tak de harapan. Ya Allah, aku dah tak larat dengan ujian ini (astaghfirullah..).
Alhamdulillah. placenta kali ni, tak seperti yg lepas2, mudah saja keluar. Selang beberapa minit, my hubby pergi tengok baby, and he came back with good news... ALHAmdulillah! Lepas timbang, baby weight's 800gram!! and intubated! syukur yaAllah... Dia kurniakan pula ventilator untuk anak kami kat husm. I was sooo happy I didn't even feel tired after giving birth as before (ataukah sebab banyak makan kurma pagi tadi?). Langsung tak rasa nak tido. Even sampai ke malam pun dalam wad, susah nak tido, dan sangat awal aku bangun.
Kul 7.30 malam baru dapat masuk wad. Damia dah menunggu dengan happynya bersama ajun dan abah. Umi dah penat tunggu aku lepas bersalin tadi. Terima kasih umi... kasih umi tak terbalas. Damia' sangat seronok tengok aku.. siap keluarkan bekal yang abah bawak untuk makan bersama... (oh, anak ummi dah besar. Teringat masa lahirkan Aisyah dan Zainab, dia masih kecik dan tak secerdik ni).. Sekarang dia dah pandai tanya adik dia. Mintak tidur di hospital jugak sebab nak tengok adik...
Esoknya, specialist yang follow up aku buat round kat wad tu dan terkejut tengok aku dah bersalin. Jadi, dia bagi aku balik awal ..yey! Kul 11.30 my hubby datang ambik. Nak balik tgk baby kat husm pulak..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
