No. The story is not over Yet..

Alhamdulillah, it's nearly 3 weeks Muhammad at home. His weight now acheive 3.2kg, a normal weight of a newborn. With his head lag, soft neck and all, make me feel like just giving birth to him, just that I don't have to 'berpantang'.

In one part, i'm so glad, alhamdulillah for having him now on my arms. I'm not dreaming now.... the nightmare is now over. I have my own baby in front of my face, AT HOME. No more back and forth journey to the NICU..living half of my family at home.

But in another side... the story is not end yet. Muhammad came home with common complications for premature baby that is Chronic Lung Disease which required oxygen support -which we all dont have idea for how long and GERD (reflux disease)- although for adult, it's not a serious disease, but with a premature with cleft palate that have weak breathing effort, it's just a horror thing to see him vomit nearly each after feeding, and those vomitus came out of his mouth and nose and he gasping for air. Sometime, he became cyanosed for a while as the oxygen flow was blocked by the vomitus around the nasal and throat area. It's really different when the patient is our relatives, and I tell you, you will be panicking most when it's your own child, like you are not a doctor. Luckily, we are still able to think during the emergency.

The oxygen concentrator is another thing. It's connected to electrical supply 24 hours, 7 days perweek. Really, it's difficult to go anywhere (such as send and fetch my eldest daughter to school, or going to market and left Muhammad with my great grandma) without worrying if it'll blackout. Alhamdulillah, before my parents went for Hajj last 2 weeks, my hubby already bought a generator, after we experienced a blackout incident for 5 minute, and there was no oxygen tank stand by. It really worth buying, as I already used it for nearly 4 hours straight. Oxygen tank that we have (small one) will not adequate for that long duration

Besides being a milk-factory for him at home (I need to continue breastpumping  home 4 hourly to maintain the milk production as Muhammad unable to do direct breastfeeding due to his lungs conditions combined with cleft palate), the 3-hourly feeding and medication times make me busy. After some times (nearly 3 weeks), it's became a routine and I feel less burden. But, my half-paid-leave is nearly come to an end this October. I'm wondering if my mother able to take care of her schedule and act right during the emergency.

Still doing Istikharah if I need to continue with my unpaid leave.