Tips For Parents

Tip no.1 - Strive to be the best role model to your children. Make them proud of you first before you can expect them to make you proud.
How about asking this question to your adolescent kids today : ` Have I ever made you proud, son/daughter?' Reflect on the answer, if you're gonna get one.

Tip no.2 - Display your commitment, affection and love for each other (as parents & couple) for your children to see. Put on your best smiles the moment you step into the house, no matter how bad things are at work. Make your home as the sanctuary & heaven on earth for the kids. Keep it warm & cozy with your prayers and unconditional love for everyone.

Tip no. 3 - Avoid degrading or talking bad about your spouse in front of the children. Remember, it is their father/mother you're complaining about. Don't try to win them over & make them go against your spouse. That's not win-lose, in fact, it is definitely a lose-lose!

Tip no. 4 - Appreciate every single deed and help you received from your children. Thank them, praise them - loud and clear for everybody to hear. Put on your best smile while thanking them. You have just made up their day

Tip no. 5 - Practice what you preach. But don't preach every time you talk to the children. It might sound like a good sermon to you, but to them, it is simply a nag! Don't ever begin your sentence with `When I was your age.....'. If you do, just watch their eyes rolling up & their ears turning deaf.

Tip no. 6 - Provide spiritual guide to your children - they need the framework & structure. Never neglect spirituality in everything you do. Pray together as much as you could. Read the Quran and reflect on its meaning. Convince them, spiritual health is as important (if not more) as physical, mental & emotional health.

Tip no. 7 - Apologize for your mistakes and shortcomings, tho' sorry is the hardest word, esp. for parents. We can be wrong too. The children need to be reminded that they're being raised by HUMAN BEINGS, not angels. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes. This might be the most difficult tip to practise!

Tip no. 8 - Allow some space for your adolescents to make decisions and guide them from there. Trust them. Who else will if not you, the parent who raised them up! Don't doubt your parenting. Avoid suffocating them with your over-protectiveness. Let them learn from their mistakes.

Tip no 9 – Introduce your children to your friends/colleagues.

Tip no. 10 - Learn about your children's love languages. Each has a different, dominant type, tho' they might come from the same womb. Manage the diversity. Adapt the best parenting method for each of them. Get feedback - that's the only way to improve.

Tip no. 11 – Thank Allah everyday for selecting you, of all the parents in the world, to be THE parent to these beautiful children. Feel honoured by the privileges of being a parent. Enjoy your parenthood - despite the hardship, pain, worries and sleepless nights (not mentioning the big bucks). Cherish your role - show how much you love being a parent.

Tip no. 12 - Treasure your own parents, and let the children realize how much you love them. Visit their graves (if they are no longer alive) & tell the children amazing stories about their deceased grandparents. If they're still alive, allow the children to spend their holidays together. Allow grandparents to occupy a special place in the children's hearts & lives.

Tip no. 13 - Involve the children in making plans for the family - renovating the house, buying a new car, selecting gifts etc. Best time to teach them about family value & traditions. Let them suggest, however indicate who's the boss. Be fair, sporting and reasonable - this is when the children learn the rules of the game.

Tip no. 14 - Instill love for books & knowledge into your children's lives. Hang around in bookshops & never miss the annual book fair. Being digital natives, introduce them to e-books, digital readers & tablets. Read together as a family. You're enriching them with a legacy.

Tip no. 15 - Be fair in showing off your affection to each of your children. Deal with sibling rivalry - do not just ignore it. Make time to understand the dynamics, address the dissatisfaction, attend to each complaint. Put yourself in their shoes - they always see things differently!

Tip no. 16 - Learn to say NO to your children, esp. on matters of principles. Do not compromise your values to accommodate their demands. Provide guidance, framework & structure. They need those to lead a successful & meaningful future.

Tip no. 17 - Avoid calling your children `problematic' - esp when you can't handle them. Let's rephrase - they are children with `difficulties' - varying degrees, of course. Some quite trivial, some really massive! They need your help & assistance. Do not give up or abandon them now!

Tip no. 18 - Support each other in your parenting process. Display solidarity, restrain from open contradiction on parenting styles. Kids tend to be manipulative if they know you both have disagreement. Single parents, engage others (family, close friends) to support you. You shouldn't shoulder these duties alone!

Tip no. 19 - Instill sense of belonging among your children. Train the young ones to respect the elder siblings, vice versa. Keep them closely knitted.Treat them equally, avoid favoritism. Express unconditional love. Everyone matters & has a special, dedicated place in everybody's heart.

By Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj FB

** (copy and paste for my collection, and for the purpose of sharing the knowledge)