Journey of my Life

Friday, August 5, 2011

Penatnya menjadi seorang Ibu..

Baru ada sorang anak, dah terasa penat huhu..

Few weeks ago, kami ada pergi ke sebuah pesta buku di Shah Alam. Sedang shopping buku2 bagus untuk bacaan Damia, entah macam mana, terperangkap dengan taktik ejen Grolier, terpaksa la dengar salesman dia membebel lebih kurang 20 minit.

Mula2 macam tak nak beli, tapi setelah di ayat oleh salesman tu, terbeli jugak la...huhuhu.. Tapi tak menyesal pun. Buku2 tu memang bagus, siap dengan CD lagi. Cuma agak mahal sikit.. tak pelah, pelaburan kan?

Biasala, salesman, tanya soalan2 cepumas. Tapi saya memang terkesan dengan soalan dia:"How many hours a day you spend time with your child?" Setelah di kira2, sehari saya spend time dengan damia' cuma 5 jam (maksimum).

Balik keje, memasak, basuh kain etc aka kerja2 rumah. Mungkin hanya tinggal 2-3 jam yang betul2 spend with her. Kesian nye damia'... itu baru sorang anak. Nak kena spend time dengan ayah Damia' lagi..hehe. Setakat ni saya sedang berusaha mengkonsistenkan diri ajar Iqra' setiap hari. Oh, alangkah susah rupa2nya untuk persistent dan consistent ajar anak. Saya amat kagum dengan ibu2 yang mendidik sendiri anak dirumah sehingga menjadi hafiz.. (boleh klik di didikquran.com )

Ahh... amat kagum dengan ibu mertuaku yang mempunyai 10 anak.. dan kagum juga dengan ummiku yang mendidik ku sewaktu kecil ( ummi pernah cerita macam mana dulu dia guna flash card setiap hari untuk ajar saya membaca, hinggakan saya boleh bersekolah pada umur 6 tahun.)

Oh.. back to the story. Jadi, sekarang saya sedang buat timetable untuk ajar Damia' setiap hari menggunakan buku2 Grolier tu lah. Dah mahal tu, kena la guna seoptimum mungkin kan? Ya Allah, bantulah aku untuk konsisten. Perancangannya start selepas raya. Sebab bulan Ramadhan ni busy dengan program ihya' Ramadhan ..

Oh ya... Selamat Berpuasa dan beribadat untuk seluruh ummat Islam! moga2 bertambah ketaqwaan kita.

Ya Allah, jadikanlah Ramadhan pada tahun in bagi aku dan keluargaku lebih baik daripada yang sebelumnya, amin...!!

6 Ramadhan 1432

**Teringat suasana di Mekah tatkala berterawikh di Stadium semalam anjuran kerajaan negeri. Saya berasa rindu... ( belum berkesempatan nak key in cerita di Mekah. Dah nak dekat setahun dah ni)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Cont: SURVIVAL TIPS FOR HOUSE OFFICERS

Tips no.8 : Make friend with the nurses. Never ever be their enemy. Life would be much easier if you know how to win their hearts. Dr Meena (Paeds MO) gave me this very precious advice : Harlina, be nice to these people (nurses). They will decide whether you will have your meals or not during your calls. Yesss, I later realized how true that advice was!

Tips no.9 : Forgive those who raised their voices at you. They might be angry patients, stressed-up MOs, overwhelmed colleagues, frustrated consultants, irritated nurses etc. Nobody had ever shouted at you before,eh? Being a HO, anticipate your first experience here. Forgive them, forget them and live on. After all, we're all just humans living in the same pressure cooker!

Tips no.10 - Thank God for the honour of being His instrument/tool of Mercy to mankind. A great opportunity is at your doorstep to catapult your good self to be bigger than life. Grab that opportunity and seize the golden moments. Nothing compares with the feeling of satisfaction whenever your patients & relatives say : Thank you, Doc

Tips no. 11 - Handle yourself well when dealing with difficult people. Feeling victimized, bullied and discriminated? After reflecting on yourself, I suggest you pluck some courage to meet face-to-face. Clarify, admit your mistakes and make peace. InsyaAllah, things will be fine.

Tips no. 12 - Treat your patients as if they are your own parents/relatives. Just as how you would like any doctor to treat your parents, that's exactly how you should treat your patients now. Remember, what comes around, goes around! Motivate your patients always, you'll feel the positive energy seeping into you too.

Tips no. 13 - Express your love to your spouse everyday, using his/her love language. Let him/her know how much his/her support & understanding means to you. Share your ups and downs, laughter & tears. Thank Allah everyday for sending you this special person. Those who are still unmarried, what's keeping you, guys?

Tips no. 14 - Be sincere in treating your patients, be gentle and caring. Control your anger and frustration, avoid explosive emotional outburst in front of your patients. If you really need to release the steam, do it in the washroom with the tap running (peace, Mother Earth)- I consider that as an effective form of anger management!

Tips no. 15 - Keep abreast with what's happening around you - medical & non-medical, locally and globally. Read the papers, journals & magazines, listen to the news bulletin, engage in general discussions. Have your own opinions. You're a doctor now! People wanna know what's going on in your brain.

Tips no. 16 - Always extend a helping hand to your peers/colleague HOs.That's the only way to ensure help comes your way the next time you desperately need one. Less of `Me, Myself & I', please! More of `We & Us' now. Be a sporting team member, will ya!

Tips no. 17 - Make effort to remember names esp. your patients'. Address them appropriately. If you're greeting them for the first time, use `Encik, Cik & Puan' instead of `PakCik, Makcik, Pak Aji, Apek, Aci, Akak, Abang, Adik'. Make quick glances at the patient's file and pronounce his/her full name clearly. Just see how impressed they will be!

Tip no. 18 - Endure the disappointment when you discover the realities of the system. Witnessing unprofessional, unethical conducts - far from what you learnt in med schools? Feeling upset, angry, demoralized? Good, at least I can count on you to be a future committed agent of change!

Tip no. 19 - Learn to read your consultants'/specialists' minds. What do they want from a HO? Dedication, commitment, eagerness to learn, willingness to be corrected & guided. Give them those, and they won't make your life miserable.

Tip no. 20 - Keep your room in the HO quarter clean, tidy & cheerful! Hire a keeper if you could afford one.Throw away all the rotten left-overs. Buy an air-freshener & some flowers. Pull up the curtains, let the sunlight in. It's supposed to be a bedroom, not a cave!

Tip no. 21 - Spend your salary wisely. Share your first paycheck with your loved ones. Pay up your debts / credit card bills. Recall your financial planning lessons. Avoid weekly shopping mall rounds. Window shop with your stomach full, you'll be able to control the cravings.

Tip no. 22 - Push the `pause' button, get out for some fresh air, watch the sunrise/sunset. Reflect & contemplate. Remember, you just a small part of a very complex design. Put your perspectives back on track. Inhale & exhale - be grateful to Allah for everything you have.

Tip no. 23 - Volunteer to help arranging the call roster.Experience the pain in accomodating all requests and dealing with unhappy colleagues who could not get their wishes.Best time to learn how to give & take here!

Tip no. 24 - Be friendly & mix around with everyone. Do not reserve your greetings only for the bosses & VIPs. Greet the staff nurses, PKs, cleaners, security guards, gardeners etc. Drink your coffee at the pantry.

Tip no. 25 - Pray for your patients' well-being. Support their emotional & spiritual needs. Listen to their stories. Don't be afraid to be close to your patients. You will learn how to detach your emotions & rational thinking while looking after patients - so you'll remain objective and professional.Learn the balance to keep the ideal distance between you and the patients.

Tip no. 26 - Surprise those who look down upon you by exceeding their expectations. Impress those who think highly of you by exceeding their expectation too. Whatever it is, do your level best. Be brave to take up challenges, be humble enough to ask for assistance and be ready to receive feedback - Recipe for a satisfying career!

Tip no. 27 - Do not allow self pity to consume you now. Never curse yourself. Regretting your life choice of becoming a medical doctor, feeling envious with those friends who are enjoying life, free to do whatever they like? Well, I bet they're envious of YOU too! Just hang on there, persevere & be strong.

Tip no. 28 - Admit your mistakes and try to redeem yourself. It takes a lot of courage, self-esteem and confidence to own up for your shortcomings. At the same time, do not boast around and inflate yourself. If you've really done good, let others acknowledge. You do not have to keep reminding others.

Tip no. 29 - Enhance your medical knowledge thru' revising textbooks/notes ( I hope you haven't sold all textbooks to the juniors in med school!). Get answers to questions ASAP. Experience medicine with accurate knowledge/information, not simply following orders like zombies -without critical thinking.

Tip no. 30 - Let the deaths of your patients serve as gentle reminders/ tazkeerah - that you will also face yours, sooner or later. Treat the dead with respect, whoever they were. Look at those cold, still bodies - now separated from their souls. Pray for them. Convey your condolences to the mourning relatives... they'll appreciate that.

Tip no. 31 - Keep in touch with your emotions, but avoid being overwhelmed. Acknowledge the anger, sadness, frustration, confusion etc. Don't simply brush them off, what more trying to stiffle them! Manage those emotions - you're a human being, not a robot! Ventilate, it helps clearing your lungs & mind.

Tip no. 32 - Promise yourself that you're gonna make one person smile today! He/she might be your patient, colleague, MO, consultant, staff or spouse & parents at home. Simple rule of life - if you wanna smile, make another person smile, if you wanna be happy, make another person happy, if you want people to appreciate you, appreciate others first!

By Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj ( alumni HO ; General Hospital KL - August 1991 to July 1992)

Tips For Parents

Tip no.1 - Strive to be the best role model to your children. Make them proud of you first before you can expect them to make you proud.
How about asking this question to your adolescent kids today : ` Have I ever made you proud, son/daughter?' Reflect on the answer, if you're gonna get one.

Tip no.2 - Display your commitment, affection and love for each other (as parents & couple) for your children to see. Put on your best smiles the moment you step into the house, no matter how bad things are at work. Make your home as the sanctuary & heaven on earth for the kids. Keep it warm & cozy with your prayers and unconditional love for everyone.

Tip no. 3 - Avoid degrading or talking bad about your spouse in front of the children. Remember, it is their father/mother you're complaining about. Don't try to win them over & make them go against your spouse. That's not win-lose, in fact, it is definitely a lose-lose!

Tip no. 4 - Appreciate every single deed and help you received from your children. Thank them, praise them - loud and clear for everybody to hear. Put on your best smile while thanking them. You have just made up their day

Tip no. 5 - Practice what you preach. But don't preach every time you talk to the children. It might sound like a good sermon to you, but to them, it is simply a nag! Don't ever begin your sentence with `When I was your age.....'. If you do, just watch their eyes rolling up & their ears turning deaf.

Tip no. 6 - Provide spiritual guide to your children - they need the framework & structure. Never neglect spirituality in everything you do. Pray together as much as you could. Read the Quran and reflect on its meaning. Convince them, spiritual health is as important (if not more) as physical, mental & emotional health.

Tip no. 7 - Apologize for your mistakes and shortcomings, tho' sorry is the hardest word, esp. for parents. We can be wrong too. The children need to be reminded that they're being raised by HUMAN BEINGS, not angels. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes. This might be the most difficult tip to practise!

Tip no. 8 - Allow some space for your adolescents to make decisions and guide them from there. Trust them. Who else will if not you, the parent who raised them up! Don't doubt your parenting. Avoid suffocating them with your over-protectiveness. Let them learn from their mistakes.

Tip no 9 – Introduce your children to your friends/colleagues.

Tip no. 10 - Learn about your children's love languages. Each has a different, dominant type, tho' they might come from the same womb. Manage the diversity. Adapt the best parenting method for each of them. Get feedback - that's the only way to improve.

Tip no. 11 – Thank Allah everyday for selecting you, of all the parents in the world, to be THE parent to these beautiful children. Feel honoured by the privileges of being a parent. Enjoy your parenthood - despite the hardship, pain, worries and sleepless nights (not mentioning the big bucks). Cherish your role - show how much you love being a parent.

Tip no. 12 - Treasure your own parents, and let the children realize how much you love them. Visit their graves (if they are no longer alive) & tell the children amazing stories about their deceased grandparents. If they're still alive, allow the children to spend their holidays together. Allow grandparents to occupy a special place in the children's hearts & lives.

Tip no. 13 - Involve the children in making plans for the family - renovating the house, buying a new car, selecting gifts etc. Best time to teach them about family value & traditions. Let them suggest, however indicate who's the boss. Be fair, sporting and reasonable - this is when the children learn the rules of the game.

Tip no. 14 - Instill love for books & knowledge into your children's lives. Hang around in bookshops & never miss the annual book fair. Being digital natives, introduce them to e-books, digital readers & tablets. Read together as a family. You're enriching them with a legacy.

Tip no. 15 - Be fair in showing off your affection to each of your children. Deal with sibling rivalry - do not just ignore it. Make time to understand the dynamics, address the dissatisfaction, attend to each complaint. Put yourself in their shoes - they always see things differently!

Tip no. 16 - Learn to say NO to your children, esp. on matters of principles. Do not compromise your values to accommodate their demands. Provide guidance, framework & structure. They need those to lead a successful & meaningful future.

Tip no. 17 - Avoid calling your children `problematic' - esp when you can't handle them. Let's rephrase - they are children with `difficulties' - varying degrees, of course. Some quite trivial, some really massive! They need your help & assistance. Do not give up or abandon them now!

Tip no. 18 - Support each other in your parenting process. Display solidarity, restrain from open contradiction on parenting styles. Kids tend to be manipulative if they know you both have disagreement. Single parents, engage others (family, close friends) to support you. You shouldn't shoulder these duties alone!

Tip no. 19 - Instill sense of belonging among your children. Train the young ones to respect the elder siblings, vice versa. Keep them closely knitted.Treat them equally, avoid favoritism. Express unconditional love. Everyone matters & has a special, dedicated place in everybody's heart.

By Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj FB

** (copy and paste for my collection, and for the purpose of sharing the knowledge)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Ingat Mati, Bertambah Cinta

Berasa kurang cinta kepada suami? Bacalah blog ibu tunggal ini mawarnafastari... nescaya akan bertambah lah cinta dan rindu kepada suami kalian.

kepada Sang isteri-
jangan ditunggu kematian menjemput untuk membuktikan kesetiaan, kecintaan kalian. Usah menunggu kematian untuk menyesali kekurangan layanan kalian. Buatlah yang terbaik untuk suami setiap hari (ouch..! peringatan untuk diriku jua). Pohonlah ampun maaf setiap kesalahan.. semoga kita tidak menyesal dan menangis di kemudian hari. Semoga hanya kenangan indah yang tinggal..

Kepada sang Anak-
Jangan ditunggu ibu dan ayah terbujur kaku sebelum mahu mencium mereka. Ciumlah pipi mereka setiap hari, ucaplah terima kasih atas jasa mereka mencurah keringat membesarkanmu, basuh berak kencingmu sewaktu kecil, mengelap muntahmu. Berjaga sepanjang malam sewaktu kamu sakit dan demam. Resah gelisah sewaktu kamu keluar dan lambat sampai ke rumah.

Kepada diri ini, hamba Pencipta:
Jangan ditunggu ajal menjemput, untuk menyesali kurangnya amalan, kurangnya bersedekah, kurangnya dalam perkara sunat, mempersia2kan suruhan menutup aurat, mempersenda mereka yang berpegang kepada syariat Islam. Menyesal kerana melanggar suruhan yang Esa, memandang remeh ajaran dan sunnah Rasulullah, kekasihNya.

Sesungguhnya kematian itu suatu yang pasti... hanya menanti saat dan ketikanya sahaja.
Setiap perbuatan, perkataan, percakapan, niat dan perlakuan setiap anggota akan di nilai.

Ya Allah, jadikan diriku sentiasa dalam keadaan bersiap sedia...

~Andai dia pergi Dahulu...

Saturday, June 25, 2011

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR HOUSE OFFICER

Interesting tips from Dr Harlina Siraj for our freshly graduate juniors:

Tip no. 1 - Set your intentions right. It's neither about the money, the highly respected position and the power. It is about PUBLIC SERVITUDE, serving those who are in need of healthcare. Only after you have served well, then only you could deserve the rewards, privileges and rights allocated for medical practitioners! Welcome on board!

Tip no. 2 - Have the right attitudes. Being the most junior officer in the team, you really have a lot to catch up and learn. Never pretend that you know all. Never hesitate to admit that you do not know, to ask questions and assistance. Respect those who are more experienced than you. People with the right attitudes are welcome wherever they go, always...all the time!

Tip no. 3 - Put on your best smile and outstanding manners. Greet everyone with a cheerful salam. No matter how busy you are, don't forget to move your temporo-mandibular joints and carve out a big smile. It will stimulate a fountain of endorphins in your neuron synapses, and aha...the feel-good feeling will set in.

Don't believe this? Just try....just do it.

Tip no. 4 - Work extra hard to convince people that you are reliable, responsible, accountable and able to complete tasks and meet expectations - within the first two weeks! Once people know you're committed, you'll gain their trust, respect & cooperation. Just mark my words!

Tip no.5 - Refresh your inner self with daily, constant and effective spiritual input. For Muslim, don't ever neglect your 5 times daily prayers, no matter how busy you are. You really need that 5 -10 minutes regular breaks. It acts as a cooling oasis for you to rejuvenate.

Tip no.6 : Mend your bruised heart and dented self-esteem, quickly and effectively - each time you received unpleasant reminders of your incompetency & shortcoming from your seniors. It's a part and parcel of the job. Admit your mistakes, but PLEASE, try hard not to repeat them. To make an error is human, but to keep doing the same error is a major blunder!

Tip no.7 : Keep in touch with your loved ones - parents, spouses, close friends, teachers etc. Don't shut out your life, which mainly linger around your wards, call roster and private room now. There is more to life out there than just work or crashing into bed to recover from sleep deprivation.