21.04.2013. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Sesiapa pun tak dapat menyangka jalan kehidupan ini.
Sama ada lurus, atau bengkang bengkok.
Sama ada pengakhirannya di jalan yang benar, atau sebaliknya.

Sesiapa pun tak dapat menjangka..
pilihan yang di buat itu
walau berat, adakah tepat?

Mudah2an diri ini kembali kepada Nya
dalam keadaan Husnul Khatimah..
izinkan daku ya Allah..
dan suamiku,
dan ibu bapaku,
dan ibubapa suamiku,
dan anak2 ku,
dan ahli keluarga kami
dan seluruh ummat Islam.


21.04.2013. Suatu kisah baru.
Mudah2an ini yang terbaik
buat kami di dunia mahupun Akhirat.
Mudah2an inilah pengganti yang dijanjikan
Amin. Amin.

Kangaroo care kedua

Today is Muhammad second day on CPAP, on the second trial. Last 2 days, lepas start diuretics untuk his heart, Muhammad nampak cengkung, lost some weight becaming 1.32kg and less active. Asyik tido memanjang. Nampak pale jugak. Alhamdulillah wa syukrallillah. Lepas transfuse blood, he was extubated. Now with CPAP, oxygen level dia nampak stabil dan dia pun nampak aktif sikit, asyik menggeliat aje, walaupun mata masih lagi tertutup.

Di sebabkan dia nampak stabil, maka saya dibenarkan buat kangaroo care.. ah! seronoknya dapat peluk baby ku ini... Umi rindu kamu Muhammad. Cepatlah sembuh dan membesar..

kangaroo care technique
Baca mengenai kangaroo care

Muhammad's 2 days to 2 months old

His weight increased to 1.45kg last week, but after edema (which made he look so big, with swollen eye, face and limbs- I hardly recognized him) resolved, it left 1.35kg, and the latest, 2 days ago was 1.38kg.

He was extubated 4 days ago, put on CPAP... I was sooo happy and couldn't wait to cuddle him. (Walaupun sedih tengok Muhammad terseksa dengan tiub merodok hidung dia, dan asyik menangis dan meronta tanpa suara je). However, after 2 days, he looked tachypnoic, with all the accessory muscle seen during breathing and several episodes of apnoea (not breathing at all). Oxygen saturation went crazy. Maybe due to his chronic lung disease that made him difficult to get off the tube.

He was reintubated yesterday. I felt so down. And scared..... what if he need oxygen support the whole life?? Ya Allah...janganlah. And tomorrow Muhammad pediatrician want to see us the parents to discuss the longterm plan? (what does it means? and I hesitate to asked her because I need my hubby's support before hearing it.)

Ya Allah.. bantulah hamba Mu ini... sembuhkanlah Muhammad, wahai Tuhan yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Pengasihani.

Day 45

Alhamdulillah..Muhammad catch up fast, 1.35kg. Nampak besar dan tembam dah, compared masa mula2 lahir. Dah cheeky.. dan pandai senyum! =) i'm so happy and releived.

A few good things happen, Inhaled nitrogen oxide for PPHN already off. Replaced with syr Sildenafil. Oxygen pun nampak stabil sikit. Jarang2 skali baru desaturate. Few days ago, he developed generalized edema. Check serum albumin, 28g/dl je, tak de la low sangat. Tapi transfuse albumin jugak, sebab memang gross edema, dengan scrotum swollen, ascites, semua lah. Legs dia 2 x ganda .. memang nampak besar sungguh Muhammad. Terkejut masa tengok 2 hari lepas... 2 x check nama takut tersilap incubator anak org lain..hheh.. alhamdulillah, Muhammad size dah back to normal. Nosocomial infection pun under control. Nampak aktif sikit.

Still on ventilator. Oxygen low setting ...30%. Mudah2an tak lama lagi boleh tukar kepada CPAP. Mudah2an lungs dia kuat, dan later on boleh off oxygen. Amin

Damia' dah habis periksa hari ni..hihi.,. kelakar pulak budak tadika periksa. Cikgu dia complain Damia' ni sama je exam ngan tak exam, asyik main2, kacau kawan.. hihi. Biasa la kan, budak2... takkan nak serius ...pelik pulak nanti, matured sangat..hehe. Sibuk nak beli hadiah Hari Guru  untuk cikgu.... buat kad, dan balut hadiah sendiri untuk cikgu kelas dia. Yang kelakarnya, kad untuk makcik tukang masak pun ada.. bila cakap, makcik tu bukan cikgu.. katanya "Tak pe la, Damia' sayang CikNa..". Such a thoughtful.

Nampak sangat dia happy, less moody... mungkin sebab aku dah boleh tumpu kat dia, hantar ambik dia ke tadika. Start balik baca bedtime story.. Seronok sungguh dia. Mudah2an menjadi anak yang solehah, dan kakak yang baik... dan no more hot temper! ngee...

Ya Allah.. jadikan kami hambaMu yang sentiasa bersyukur..amin.

P/s: bila boleh nak transfer gambar dari hp ni?

Day 38

Muhammad dah 1.1kg!! Alhamdulillahh... mudah2an Allah panjangkan umurnya, dan sihat tubuh badan dan akal fikirannya.

Masih on ventilator, masih ada masalah PPHN dan chronic lung disease.. tapi menurut paediatrician tu, kalau tengok keadaan dia, nampak imroving. Harap2 tak lama lagi dapat extubate, insyaAllah.

Sekarang Damia' pulak yang bermasalah. Mungkin selalu kena tinggal (Sebab saya ke hospital), sering terabai dan tak banyak habiskan masa bersama dia, nampak moody dan terlebih sensitif aje. Kesian Damia'.

Sampaikan exam hari ni pun tak cakap. Rupa2nya dalam beg dia, cikgu dia dah bagi jadual periksa utk dia. Sejak dalam pantang ni, sibuk dengan berurut/bertungku dan berulang alik ke hospital, tak sempat nak check beg dia..

Iqra'/muqaddam pun tak sempat nak ajar. Maafkan umi Damia'..

Nanti dah habis pantang ni, boleh tumpu lebih sikit kat dia. Nampak gayanya susah sikit nak pergi hospital dengan lebih kerap

Moga dapat ku beri saat berharga untuk anakku

"Anak2 tak selamanya kecil. Kalau Allah beri mereka umur yang panjang, sebelum habis kekuatan kita utk berjalan dengan tegak dan berbicara dengan suara lantang, anak2 kita yang kelmarin merengek meminta perhatian kita itu sekarang mungkin sudah sibuk memenuhi jadual kegiatannya yang sangat padat.

Anak2 yang kelmarin menangis kerana kita tidak mahu mendampingi mereka untuk membacakan cerita,hari ini mungkin kita yang harus belajar menahan diri kerana sangat ingin mendengar cerita mereka dari lidah mereka sendiri"

 " Terimalah yang sedikit daripada anak, maka setiap anak akan menjadi istimewa di mata kita. Kelebihannya yang sedikit akan nampak berharga, sehingga kita bersemangat utk menyebut2nya, memupuk dan mengembangkannyaAnak2 kita boleh jadi tidak sehebat anak2 rakan kita. 

Akan tetapi, jika kehebatan yang kecil itu kita pupuk, dan kita terima dengan hangat, maka akan berubah menjadi kekuatan yang dahsyat. 

Maafkanlah kesulitan yang dihasilkannya, maka dada kita akan terasa lebih lapang menghadapi mereka. Kita lebih mampu menerima mereka apa adanya"

 "Banyak ibubapa yang berhasil mendidik anaknya bukan kerana kepandaiannya mendidik anak, tetapi kerana doa2 mereka yang tulus. Banyak orang tua yang caranya mendidik salah jika dilihat dari sudut pandangan psikologi, tetapi anak2nya tumbuh menjadi penyejuk mata yang membawa kebaikan disebabkan amat besarnya pengharapan orang tuanya. Diantara mereka ada yang selalu membasahi penghujung malam dengan airmata untuk merintih kepada Allah SWT.

Kadang2 seperti tidak berkait langsung, tetapi amal bergantung kepada niatnya. Seorang ibu menyedekahkan hartanya kerana mengharap redha Allah dan penjagaan iman ke atas anak2nya, lalu Allah tegakkan dinding dihati anak sehingga tak terjangkau oleh kerosakan yang ada disekitarnya"

((Petikan dari Saat Berharga Untuk Anak Kita karangan Muhd Fauzil Adhim))

Penatnya menjadi seorang Ibu..

Baru ada sorang anak, dah terasa penat huhu..

Few weeks ago, kami ada pergi ke sebuah pesta buku di Shah Alam. Sedang shopping buku2 bagus untuk bacaan Damia, entah macam mana, terperangkap dengan taktik ejen Grolier, terpaksa la dengar salesman dia membebel lebih kurang 20 minit.

Mula2 macam tak nak beli, tapi setelah di ayat oleh salesman tu, terbeli jugak la...huhuhu.. Tapi tak menyesal pun. Buku2 tu memang bagus, siap dengan CD lagi. Cuma agak mahal sikit.. tak pelah, pelaburan kan?

Biasala, salesman, tanya soalan2 cepumas. Tapi saya memang terkesan dengan soalan dia:"How many hours a day you spend time with your child?" Setelah di kira2, sehari saya spend time dengan damia' cuma 5 jam (maksimum).

Balik keje, memasak, basuh kain etc aka kerja2 rumah. Mungkin hanya tinggal 2-3 jam yang betul2 spend with her. Kesian nye damia'... itu baru sorang anak. Nak kena spend time dengan ayah Damia' lagi..hehe. Setakat ni saya sedang berusaha mengkonsistenkan diri ajar Iqra' setiap hari. Oh, alangkah susah rupa2nya untuk persistent dan consistent ajar anak. Saya amat kagum dengan ibu2 yang mendidik sendiri anak dirumah sehingga menjadi hafiz.. (boleh klik di didikquran.com )

Ahh... amat kagum dengan ibu mertuaku yang mempunyai 10 anak.. dan kagum juga dengan ummiku yang mendidik ku sewaktu kecil ( ummi pernah cerita macam mana dulu dia guna flash card setiap hari untuk ajar saya membaca, hinggakan saya boleh bersekolah pada umur 6 tahun.)

Oh.. back to the story. Jadi, sekarang saya sedang buat timetable untuk ajar Damia' setiap hari menggunakan buku2 Grolier tu lah. Dah mahal tu, kena la guna seoptimum mungkin kan? Ya Allah, bantulah aku untuk konsisten. Perancangannya start selepas raya. Sebab bulan Ramadhan ni busy dengan program ihya' Ramadhan ..

Oh ya... Selamat Berpuasa dan beribadat untuk seluruh ummat Islam! moga2 bertambah ketaqwaan kita.

Ya Allah, jadikanlah Ramadhan pada tahun in bagi aku dan keluargaku lebih baik daripada yang sebelumnya, amin...!!

6 Ramadhan 1432




**Teringat suasana di Mekah tatkala berterawikh di Stadium semalam anjuran kerajaan negeri. Saya berasa rindu... ( belum berkesempatan nak key in cerita di Mekah. Dah nak dekat setahun dah ni)

Tips For Parents

Tip no.1 - Strive to be the best role model to your children. Make them proud of you first before you can expect them to make you proud.
How about asking this question to your adolescent kids today : ` Have I ever made you proud, son/daughter?' Reflect on the answer, if you're gonna get one.

Tip no.2 - Display your commitment, affection and love for each other (as parents & couple) for your children to see. Put on your best smiles the moment you step into the house, no matter how bad things are at work. Make your home as the sanctuary & heaven on earth for the kids. Keep it warm & cozy with your prayers and unconditional love for everyone.

Tip no. 3 - Avoid degrading or talking bad about your spouse in front of the children. Remember, it is their father/mother you're complaining about. Don't try to win them over & make them go against your spouse. That's not win-lose, in fact, it is definitely a lose-lose!

Tip no. 4 - Appreciate every single deed and help you received from your children. Thank them, praise them - loud and clear for everybody to hear. Put on your best smile while thanking them. You have just made up their day

Tip no. 5 - Practice what you preach. But don't preach every time you talk to the children. It might sound like a good sermon to you, but to them, it is simply a nag! Don't ever begin your sentence with `When I was your age.....'. If you do, just watch their eyes rolling up & their ears turning deaf.

Tip no. 6 - Provide spiritual guide to your children - they need the framework & structure. Never neglect spirituality in everything you do. Pray together as much as you could. Read the Quran and reflect on its meaning. Convince them, spiritual health is as important (if not more) as physical, mental & emotional health.

Tip no. 7 - Apologize for your mistakes and shortcomings, tho' sorry is the hardest word, esp. for parents. We can be wrong too. The children need to be reminded that they're being raised by HUMAN BEINGS, not angels. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes. This might be the most difficult tip to practise!

Tip no. 8 - Allow some space for your adolescents to make decisions and guide them from there. Trust them. Who else will if not you, the parent who raised them up! Don't doubt your parenting. Avoid suffocating them with your over-protectiveness. Let them learn from their mistakes.

Tip no 9 – Introduce your children to your friends/colleagues.

Tip no. 10 - Learn about your children's love languages. Each has a different, dominant type, tho' they might come from the same womb. Manage the diversity. Adapt the best parenting method for each of them. Get feedback - that's the only way to improve.

Tip no. 11 – Thank Allah everyday for selecting you, of all the parents in the world, to be THE parent to these beautiful children. Feel honoured by the privileges of being a parent. Enjoy your parenthood - despite the hardship, pain, worries and sleepless nights (not mentioning the big bucks). Cherish your role - show how much you love being a parent.

Tip no. 12 - Treasure your own parents, and let the children realize how much you love them. Visit their graves (if they are no longer alive) & tell the children amazing stories about their deceased grandparents. If they're still alive, allow the children to spend their holidays together. Allow grandparents to occupy a special place in the children's hearts & lives.

Tip no. 13 - Involve the children in making plans for the family - renovating the house, buying a new car, selecting gifts etc. Best time to teach them about family value & traditions. Let them suggest, however indicate who's the boss. Be fair, sporting and reasonable - this is when the children learn the rules of the game.

Tip no. 14 - Instill love for books & knowledge into your children's lives. Hang around in bookshops & never miss the annual book fair. Being digital natives, introduce them to e-books, digital readers & tablets. Read together as a family. You're enriching them with a legacy.

Tip no. 15 - Be fair in showing off your affection to each of your children. Deal with sibling rivalry - do not just ignore it. Make time to understand the dynamics, address the dissatisfaction, attend to each complaint. Put yourself in their shoes - they always see things differently!

Tip no. 16 - Learn to say NO to your children, esp. on matters of principles. Do not compromise your values to accommodate their demands. Provide guidance, framework & structure. They need those to lead a successful & meaningful future.

Tip no. 17 - Avoid calling your children `problematic' - esp when you can't handle them. Let's rephrase - they are children with `difficulties' - varying degrees, of course. Some quite trivial, some really massive! They need your help & assistance. Do not give up or abandon them now!

Tip no. 18 - Support each other in your parenting process. Display solidarity, restrain from open contradiction on parenting styles. Kids tend to be manipulative if they know you both have disagreement. Single parents, engage others (family, close friends) to support you. You shouldn't shoulder these duties alone!

Tip no. 19 - Instill sense of belonging among your children. Train the young ones to respect the elder siblings, vice versa. Keep them closely knitted.Treat them equally, avoid favoritism. Express unconditional love. Everyone matters & has a special, dedicated place in everybody's heart.

By Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj FB

** (copy and paste for my collection, and for the purpose of sharing the knowledge)